my new favorite thing
...is being sick. I was feeling thicker around the middle during the institute, partially from the thesis, and partially from never having time to make anything healthy during the institute. Then I came back to San Diego and caught Klinton's nasty nasty cold, was sick for four days, and am magically tinier!i has a sekrit...let me tell you it
1. Catch someone's really bad cold, or even better, the flu.
2. Be alone in your house, so no one can make you food or otherwise take pity on you.
3. Make sure the house didn't already have easy-to-prepare food going into the four days of sickness. It is critical that any food in the house requires at least thirty minutes of preparation.
4. Do not live within a few blocks of grocery stores. Or any other store that has food.
5. (This one is less critical than 1-4) Do not know anyone around where you live, so that you cannot send anyone to go get you something. It is critical that you are helpless during the four days of sickness.
Ta-da!
The terrible cold/flu will sap all of your energy, so you couldn't be bothered to venture outside for food. You'll look longingly at your nonperishable items that require preparation, but you'll be far too tired to even deal with that. You could order Chinese take-out, but that's getting a little ridiculous and you're also broke. (If you weren't broke going into the sickness, make sure that you become so before you begin the diet plan.) This leaves you to scrounge on the few bits of food and drink that are lying about, munching on just enough to stave off your hunger, which won't be very bad, because you're sick as fuck. If you get too hungry, just go to sleep until it goes away. After day 4, look who has a flatter tummy!
AWESOME
sample meal plan:
breakfast: a piece of chocolate (large enough so that the fat content will keep you coasting until dinnertime)
snack: one rice cake
dinner: two sips of a shitty pina colada (throw out the rest because it is shitty)
Consult with your doctor before beginning any diet or exercise plan. Results not typical.
posted by siobhan @ 4:01 PM
1 Comments:
OMG! Girl, give me a call! Are you feeling better now? I'm so sorry you were by yourself and sick in a new town. I hope you weren't feeling too lonely. I get super lonely when Alan is away and I am sick. All I can think about is wanting him to be there so that he can make me soup. Do you like soup? -Come and visit me so that I can make you soup. I make a mean chicken-noodle. Except, for you I would take out the chicken part.
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