(Dumbest Ever) Decision 2008
This post is not about the presidential race, because, as the title says, I'm pretty dumb. Yesterday I made quite possibly the dumbest decision I've ever made: I decided to try a Brazilian wax.Yes.
Not even just getting my toes wet with eyebrow waxing, then maybe a leg...no, I just went for it full throttle. I figured, everyone else in La Jolla probably does this, I should be able to take it!
Wrong. I was so wrong.
Here is my advice to all of you, male or female: do not get a Brazilian wax unless you have an abnormal tolerance level for pain. That hurt like a motherfucker. You hear people on TV scream while they get a bikini wax, but on TV it's over so quickly...mine was not. I lasted through four strips, screamed like a banshee, and begged her to stop. So...one side is sort of done, and I'm out $42. Can you please tell me why I did this? ???????
Here were the comedic highlights:
- wax person: "You've never done this before? How old ARE you?"
wp: "Oh my god, people your age have been doing this for years! Now how cute is your boyfriend waiting out there?"
me: "He's pretty cute...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!"
wp: "See?" (as in, "See? You need to do this barbaric procedure to keep your boyfriend)
2. me: [throwing head back in dire pain] "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIII!"
wp: "Oh, are you okay? Do you want me to stop?"
me: "No, I'm not...I can't do this anymore..."
wp: "Okay, bye!" [goes to Starbucks]
I kid you not, friends. It made me CRY. I made it out of the office and as soon as I left, I cried for like twenty minutes. That shit hurted. Don't do it.
posted by siobhan @ 9:26 AM
3 Comments:
WTFFFFF
There are so many things wrong with this story. First of all, that people pay to endure unnecessary pain. Second of all, that one's boyfriend should have ANYTHING to do with a woman's choice of where she wants to have hair on her own body. I know it wasn't you who made this connection, it was the wax lady, but still, WE MAKE THE CHOICE ABOUT HOW WE WANT OUR BODIES TO LOOK! NOT MEN!! I hate society. Also totally don't understand the appeal of the prepubescent look. Wtf.
This comment probably delved way more into these issues than any of us wanted it to, but TOUGH, we need to confront the fact that society has unrealistic expectations for women which apparently involve painful de-hair-ification and other unnecessary pursuits. We should just all be hairy hippies. The Europeans totally have it all figured out. And, they're probably happier than us too.
Sorry for the rant. I really hope you can still walk and sit like a normal person after this experience.
This comment has been removed by the author.
omg.
wtf.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
I have so many questions. (For example, why was K man waiting for you outside to being with? Where on earth did you find this horrible Wax-Lady? What prompted you to go through with this? etc)
I agree with Laurel on everything.
You have made me laugh very hard this evening.
Since I know that you will never become a hairy hippy (maybe a hippy, just not a particularly hairy one), may I suggest laser hair removal (expensive, but painless and semi-permanent)
Also, I think you should seriously consider a writing career.
Post a Comment
<< Home