sent in my hardest application!
So proud of myself!I've been dragging my feet for a long time about sending in a job application to the organization I want to work for the most, because my hopes are riding so high, and it had to be absolutely perfect to maximize my chances of getting the job. (Not like I'm SO excited about being a 9-to-5er, but still.) The whole thing was making me so nervous that the act of just editing my cover letter was too aggravating to do. But I was thinking about some of my friends that graduated before me that sent out TONS of resumes, as soon as they heard about jobs that they wanted, and were generally more workhorselike than me, and I realized I needed to just kick myself in the butt and hop to it. I don't know why I run away from things that I really want, because I'm afraid I won't get it. Self-fulfilling prophesies. But anyway, now that I've gotten a few under my belt, I feel a lot better about churning out more applications for other jobs that weren't #1 on my list.
Here comes some long-winded semi-existentialist babble. Scroll down past the small print if you'd like to spare yourself the over-dramatic internal struggle. I recommend this option.
I'm really scared to start this new working phase of my life because I've never really been in that environment...even when I worked at ICSI, it was still tied to Berkeley, and I more or less viewed it as an extension of my linguistics education. I know I'll have a lot to learn about multi-tasking and professionalism and dealing with people generally. I'm also scared that I'll stay in the work force so long that it will be too hard to return to linguistics PhD programs; however, Steve pointed out that if I am more passionate about helping the LGBTIQ community than anything else, then following my passion is probably the best thing to do...following your passion is more admirable than staying in academia to prove something to yourself. I love learning, and I love psycholinguistics, and I really wish I could continue examining those questions, but there are a lot of aspects of academia that I just can't swallow. I realized a long time ago that I have to select a work environment that will fit with my personality and temperament, not fit my temperament to a work environment. I tried that before, and tried to just push myself to accept the hardest workload I could, and I humiliated myself and fell flat on my face.
GAAAHHHHHHHH
someone please just tell me what to do
The thing I keep telling myself now is that if I only have 80-100 years on this earth, what will make the most positive impact on the world? Making a few small contributions (maybe) in our understanding of the perception of sound, or helping save some people from facing crippling discrimination, doing all I can to end gender/orientation discrimination, or discrimination of any other group for that matter? K keeps telling me that I might maybe possibly help the treatment of the deaf through psychoacoustic research somewhere down the line, but I want to directly affect and help someone's life.
Anyway...I am currently working on resumes, etc. in a bar. :D Very nice! Oh the babies! end{borat} It's hot as hell here, and our apartment, though awesome, has no cross-ventilation. We have a crappy wall unit like those window units that tries so hard, but it couldn't compete with 92 degrees. (please kill me) The library at school is closed for Labor Day and K's office isn't air conditioned on the weekends. And I hate his office. We called every cafe in the area to see if they had air conditioning and wifi, and there was no cafe that satisfied both constraints. But finally! K remembered there was a bar somewhere near our apartment that had wifi, so we've been here for five hours working and drinking beer. (Which I found actually helped my working process, because I really needed to take the edge off after mulling over my applications.) Apparently, there's another U2 fan in here, because there's been three songs so far.
We're like 80% moved in to our new apartment. I really like our new place a lot, and it's really exciting to be in a place that I know I'll be in for some time, instead of my constantly-in-flux Berkeley living. I'm excited to optimize how it is set up. (Martha Stewart, much? (I adore that woman (and did you realize that 99% of Martha Stewart Omnimedia's corporate donation money goes to Democrats?)))
Also, a plea: If no one comes down here to play with me for my birthday, it will prove to be The Saddest Birthday I Have Ever Had, possibly even sadder than my sixteenth birthday, which I imagined to be twinkly and pink, replete with a kiss from A Boy, but turned out to be a cake and a sad party hat that I made myself to cheer myself up. Geoffrey's down here, but you can't put all of the party hat responsibilities on his head, despite his head being covered with awesome hair. You have two days! Come here pleeeease, I'll bake you a cake. I might even be able to finagle you a kiss from A Boy (despite my inability to secure one for my sixteenth birthday).
posted by siobhan @ 6:24 PM
5 Comments:
a few things, in order no particular:
1. Balls to your 92 degrees, it hit 102 here in San Marcos
2. I'm proud of you for your saving-the-world-ness, particularly in the LGBTQ community
3. I'm happy to provide as much birthday festivity as I can muster, but I'm going to pass on the kiss from A Boy. However, if you've got something more along the lines of a hot girl in stylishly appropriated boy clothes (tie and fedora, or similar) I could totally get down with that.
I'm sure you will be fine: Entering the work force is kind of like swimming... you need to jump in and start doing it or you will never learn. And, swimming is fun!
G: Well that's whatya git fur livin in the suburbs or whutever the hayle you call em.
M: But entering the workforce is not fun, and thus entering the workforce is not like swimming.
Working is FUN! Or at least I think it is supposed to be... That is why you need to find a job that you will love. If you love doing it, then it is fun.
Also, for many people learning how to swim can be terrifying. But once they get the hang of it, they love it. I believe you are going to love your job and have so much fun once you get over the initial panic attack that is customary when entering the work force after college.
I just can't believe we're not in college anymore...waaaaahhhh
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