hy-po-chon-dria *bangs head*
Dear friends,Please, all of you, comment and tell me that I am being a hypochondriac worrywart. Bird flu is starting to freak me out. I started reading the CDC website and I saw the word "pandemic" !!! and I thought, Oh dear God, it is like 1905, or whatever.
*going to wash hands now*
posted by siobhan @ 1:20 AM
15 Comments:
I'm typing this from my air-sealed bunker in the Nevada badlands, eating nothing but greenhouse potatoes and old goverment issue cheese.
"I wouldn't worry." (adjusts tin foil hat and pushes glasses back up on nose)
I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, and that there is no significance to the fact that I'm quite sick right now.
If history has taught us anything, it's that diseases can't cross the ocean. It's in Europe, so we've gotta be safe!
Well, It was discovered in France. BUT only poultry imports from that part of the south of France have stopped.
I would only buy homegrown chicken if I were you. And you can't get it from properly cooked chicken anyway.
Ohh WAIT!!! You are a veggi-person. Forget about it.
STOP WORRYING!!!!
Ahum, Klinton: Of couse diseases have crossed the ocean. Chiken-Pox alone killed thousands of Indians.
Did you know that we exchanged Chicken Pox for syphilis with the native americans? They carried an immunity to it and gave it to the Europeans. Nice Trade.
From someone living in Europe (no less from hoof-and-mouth land) I am not worried. Unless I come visit you! (Bwahaha) just kidding.
Chicken Pox crossed over on blankets, this is why there are no blankets in my bunker...its cold at night. I should have thought this through.
Thank you friends. I need to check in with normal people once in a while to remind myself that I am indeed crazy. Though I still kind of want to join Alan in the air-sealed bunker.
Alan, new blanket idea: if we raise some kind of sheep mutant in the greenhouse, we can use its wool to spin our own yarn, from which we can make new disease-free blankets!
I was thinking of just peeling the potatoes *very* carefully and glueing some type of crude shawl together to keep me warm, with the skin of my food (creepy voice)
[to be said in a British accent]:
Well, as long as you do not go out to play where there are no wild birds...I'm sure you can go to the duck pond.
If we all are going to live in the same bunker...can we wear those creepy outfits from E.T.?
hold. the. phone.
Since when is this a group bunker? There's no room! I can take only 2 people with me. One of the has to be Margaret, the rest of you can fight to the death...or the pain...or the bruise..what have you..
Well if it's already you and Margaret, I don't want to be a third wheel.
oh don't worry, when we emerge from the bunker, it will be a wheel-less soceity that we build. Uber-luddite fo' sure.
It's okay Jacqueline...we can make Costco our bunker!
Imagine all the DIET SODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Post a Comment
<< Home