homesick
I miss Berkeley and my life there so much right now that I don't even know what to do about it. I just want to cry. I just have the feeling that nothing is ever going to be like it was there, ever again. It's not just the city I miss; I miss the phase of my life that I was in while I was there. Because it allowed me to enjoy it on another level. I know from Avenue Q that wanting to return to college is a common problem, but it was Berkeley...the fucking most amazing place in the world.
I know things will get better with time and as I meet more friends of my own here, but I yearn to go back there. It feels just like being dumped - something you love so much being ripped away from you without your control. I'm so heartbroken.
Ew.
I am helping with the writing of a midterm exam. I am writing a midterm. I am the one who is supposed to take midterms. How is it that I am formulating what will be presented to the students in a scary white packet of paper? These kids are freshmen...I remember my first midterm when I was a freshman, and it was terrifying! I am helping terrify these children! It feels so wrong...and yet I don't want to make it easy! I have this Platonic ideal of The Scholar, wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a tweed jacket with elbow patches. Live your potential!!!
best music video evar
http://www1.matesofstate.com/vid/gj-goods.mov
Damn it, why can't I live in an apartment where all my friends live down the hall and we have spontaneous dance parties whenever someone cranks up Tha Tunes?
I feel like when I first realized that no, high school and the rest of my life would *not* be like Beverly Hills, 90210. The disappointment was, in a word, vast.
You should still watch this music video.
