cowtown sightings
This story isn't going to be surprising in any way, and it would probably be funnier if you knew the people involved in the story, but I had a good laugh about it.
My mom went to the supermarket (SaveMart) in town (yes, THE supermarket. There is another one, but no one goes there.) She ran into a woman there that with whom we used to attend church (before we left the church in protest of the Evil Priest that made everything all holy roller) and they started catching up as we haven't seen them in six or seven years. My mom asked about her four kids and was shocked that they were already in high school. The woman asked how I was doing and my mom told her that I graduated and moved down to San Diego.
Before I continue, I'll paint in the background a little: We're Episcopalian, right, so we're basically the most liberal of the Christian denominations. While Cowtown is basically the Texas of California, it is still in California, and Cowtown residents don't have ALL of the crazy old-fashioned hangups that Texans do. I know this because when I met K, a Texan, I was shocked by his childhood experiences, and was pleased that Cowtown was at least less backwards than somewhere else.
Anyway, the woman asked about what I'm up to now and my mom said that I'm planning on working for gay and lesbian rights. The woman says, "Well, of course, I mean, 'they' have rights too..." Then my mom said that I was engaged to be married in a year or so, and the woman quickly cut in--
"Not to a ... woman...?" She laughs nervously.
My mom assured her that no, I was not a lesbian, that my working in the LGBT community was merely something I'd been interested in doing for a long time, and that I was indeed engaged to a very nice young man.
Groan.
a letter to health insurance providers
Dear health insurance providers,I just spent my entire night applying for one of your health insurance plans and was denied coverage. I reviewed my application again, to make sure that I didn't accidentally click Yes for malignant tumors, but saw that I indeed filled it out correctly. In fact, the only thing I clicked Yes to was current medications (Paxil...ooo, scary!) and a PREVIOUS medical condition which was TREATED FOUR YEARS AGO and was ANOREXIA, not AIDS. Are you really going to deny me coverage just because I want you to pay $60 per year for my softcore anxiety medication? It's not like I fucking need Xanax or something. Fine, I don't even need you to pay for my prescriptions. The only thing I want you to do is cover my ass in the case of grave medical emergency, for which I am just as much at risk as any other person, regardless of my previous association with eating disorders. Did I mention it was four years ago? Did I mention that, from your perspective, it was totally not a big deal? Maybe if you had a cute little box on your application to indicate that my disorder was completely in remission, then you would know that I'm not as high-risk as you think I am. Because you discriminated against me right off the bat without considering that it was FOUR YEARS AGO and IS OVER WITH, I suggest that you give me the plan I requested, with lower co-pays, free prescriptions, and free ice cream, effective tomorrow. Thanks.Full of hate, SiobhanP.S. My request for ice cream should be ample proof to show you that my previous condition is over with.
my new favorite thing
...is being sick. I was feeling thicker around the middle during the institute, partially from the thesis, and partially from never having time to make anything healthy during the institute. Then I came back to San Diego and caught Klinton's nasty nasty cold, was sick for four days, and am magically tinier! i has a sekrit...let me tell you it1. Catch someone's really bad cold, or even better, the flu.2. Be alone in your house, so no one can make you food or otherwise take pity on you.3. Make sure the house didn't already have easy-to-prepare food going into the four days of sickness. It is critical that any food in the house requires at least thirty minutes of preparation.4. Do not live within a few blocks of grocery stores. Or any other store that has food.5. (This one is less critical than 1-4) Do not know anyone around where you live, so that you cannot send anyone to go get you something. It is critical that you are helpless during the four days of sickness.Ta-da!The terrible cold/flu will sap all of your energy, so you couldn't be bothered to venture outside for food. You'll look longingly at your nonperishable items that require preparation, but you'll be far too tired to even deal with that. You could order Chinese take-out, but that's getting a little ridiculous and you're also broke. (If you weren't broke going into the sickness, make sure that you become so before you begin the diet plan.) This leaves you to scrounge on the few bits of food and drink that are lying about, munching on just enough to stave off your hunger, which won't be very bad, because you're sick as fuck. If you get too hungry, just go to sleep until it goes away. After day 4, look who has a flatter tummy!AWESOMEsample meal plan:breakfast: a piece of chocolate (large enough so that the fat content will keep you coasting until dinnertime)snack: one rice cakedinner: two sips of a shitty pina colada (throw out the rest because it is shitty) Consult with your doctor before beginning any diet or exercise plan. Results not typical.
lolpsycholinguistics
teh mental lexicon
let me show u it
HALP!
I is addicted to tha intertubesIt is a neverending web of evil
"right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy...
and when i see how sad you are, it makes me sort of happy!it's ... schadenfreudemaking me feel glad that i'm not you!"that's from Avenue Q, kids. you should fucking go see it right now. i think i just wanted to post something to show that i have triumphed over the internet, so much that i'm able to pooooost something on my blooooog. i can't really view pictures, but that's okay. yeah, so i don't know what the fuck is wrong, because i have to keep adding the network to my preferred list of networks and typing in the information over and over again, and then when that didn't work after two days, i accidentally opened my chat client and it logged on?! i screamed for a while, and then thought maybe it was something to do with firefox, so i tried firing up IE and behold, the INTARWEBS! i hope firefox starts working again, because IE makes my blog look really shitaaaay...maybe that's because IE is really shitaaaaayumso we're in san diego now...it's really weird. k isn't even here; he went to nashville for a conference so i'm stuck by myself with no license. we went to see avenue q two nights ago and i looked around to check out my new fellow san diegans and i felt out of place. lots of mother-daughter pairs with matching bottle blonde hair, coach purses, and leggings everywhere. i have to admit, i'm kind of a fan of the leggings, but i've never seen them so many wearers of leggings in one room. there are definitely cool things to do in sd, and enough hipster expats from somewhere cooler that huddle together until they can return to the promised land. but i sob, because i never really got to live in san francisco, the most special place. and i don't know when we'll ever get to go back. i suspect that i will be drinking more for the next while. but hey, there's like a zoo here, and now i can go to tijuana whenever the fuck i want....yay....i was brooding in the other room for a while and realized that between the ages of 16 and 20 i kind of sucked. i was such a square. i think if i met my 19-year-old self i wouldn't have wanted to be her friend. she was pretty lame. i feel like i was actually in utero until age 20. only then did things become interesting.okay, i can't stand looking at the IE interface anymore. bye for now.
